• DAY 189: DO YOU REMEMBER CORDELIA FROM INDIA?

    Apr 1st

     

    Cordelia - the 'cow-dog'. She was almost totally blind but still looked at me in a way that shot through

    Cordelia – the ‘cow-dog’. She was almost totally blind but her eyes seemed to say a lot. At least to me

    Some sad news on Cordelia, the blind dog that I kind of fell in love with in India.

    This is my last day in the Philippines and tomorrow I will give you some better news but in the meantime I got a few emails asking about Cordelia the poor pup in India that I wrote about a while back and I wanted to update you.

    I’ve been in touch with Avis, the inspirational woman from the ARK, many time over the last few months. She’s had a fairly rough ride of late and maybe one day I’ll be able to tell you about it but she’s back at the helm again now and her daughter, Odette, has joined her for support.

    I’m afraid that Cordelia got put down yesterday.

    She had been diagnosed as fully blind and was continuing to be bullied by the puppies. She was placed into her own space but then started fitting repeatedly and the decision was made that given all the circumstances and her health it would be kinder to put her to sleep.

    The bed where she felt comfortable. Which kind of reminded me of a boat.  It makes me think of max in where the wild things are - I imagine she might float off to a better place now. No more wild things for you Cordelia

    The bed where she felt comfortable. Which kind of reminded me of a boat. The way she sat in it made me think of Max in ‘where the wild things are’ – I imagine she might float off to a better world now. No more wild things for you Cordelia

    I feel terrible. And I also feel I have let her down. I am sure I could  have done more.

    I got the news on my phone today and sat where I was for a number of minutes, pressing a pause button in my head so that I might be able to keep the world from flowing and changing.

    I’m not quite sure why Cordelia got to me so much, both in life and death.  I felt for her more than any dog I have met on this whole journey and now I wonder if could have bought  her to the UK (it would have taken many months), or maybe raised money for some in-depth treatment. Too late now.

    Perhaps guilt is a way of trying to avoid feeling helpless.

     

    Blog9_keraladog_02

     

    Underdog

    Cordelia represented the genuine ‘underdog’ to me, not just for her own species but all animals:  terrified of human abuse, blind, attacked by others, unable to accept companionship. She was so wrapped in self-protection that I couldn’t properly touch her. Of course that made me want to reach her even more. She was beautiful too.

    In another world, a cinematic world, I imagine her as a human child, bullied at school and wearing awkward thick glasses and looking to the floor but with an obvious beauty.  No doubt in that film she would emerge as a striking woman, comfortable in her skin.

    But Cordelia is no more and this reality is not a film. Nevertheless, I feel I could have directed a different ending. But maybe that is just a fantasy too.

    Spare a thought for Cordelia the little cow-dog with those funny markings. In some foolish part of my brain I think if we all send her on her way it might make a difference.

    Cordelia never wanted to connect. I don't blame her

    Cordelia never wanted to connect. I don’t blame her

     



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    8 Responses to “DAY 189: DO YOU REMEMBER CORDELIA FROM INDIA?”

    1. I have spared a few thoughts and a big lump in my throat for cordelia, dont beat yourself up martin, her fate would probably have been the same if you had brought her home, and by the sounds of her she would have been so stressed by it all. she isnt suffering anymore, the image of her wee face looking out of her “boat ” will stay with me for a long time.

    2. I would like to think that even though dear Cordelia was terrified of life and not accepting companionship..I would hope there were moments of acceptance in her heart of feeling somewhat loved and safe….God rest her dear soul….xox

    3. May Cordelia rest in peace and be in a happier place now. I think you did all you could. I would love to see one of her happy pictures in your new book as a memory of her. R.I.P. little Cordelia.

    4. Dear little Cordelia, no longer suffering, no longer frightened, resting in peace. You’ve brought her story to so many people Martin, and she will remain in our hearts, God bless her. xx

    5. thank you!

    6. I’m so sorry to read the sad update of Cordelia’s passing. I had really hoped for good news as I’m sure we all did. Having read Cordelia’s story in your blog she was also in my heart and I checked back for updates recently, hoping… Now I will write that song for you, for Cordelia, she will be my inspiration. Thank you for all you are doing. Rest in peace Cordelia, you will not be forgotten sweet gentle one. xx

    7. Such sad news. 🙁 R.I.P. sweet Cordelia. I’m so sorry your life started out so tough but know that people did love and care about you, especially Martin. xo

    8. Sad news about Cordelia.It’s a shame we don’t have alot more caring and compassionate people.Hope the ranks start growing.

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