DAY 130: THE (TERRIBLE) CHRISTMAS PRESENTS I BOUGHT TO HELP ANIMALS….
Thank you all for your lovely feedback – seems we have some serious dog lovers out there!
I’ve been thinking a lot about what you’ve been saying. Whilst I’d love to only help dogs my original vision was to explore my relation to all animals …. so I’ve decided I have to do that. I’m still going to do more with dogs – wait and see – but I’m currently looking at going back to India to help the wild creatures out there. More soon.
Christmas has been a time for charitable giving and bad presents…
But in all the busyness of marriage I forgot to post about my animal charity efforts over Christmas…
If you remember I asked for all the money that would be spent on my gifts to go to animal charities (no doubt some donkey sanctuary in the middle east has received a knitted jumper) and I kindly promised to give my family gifts I could find only in the local animal aid shops.
Amongst other things, I found the following gems:
– 3 leather handbags of varying pedigree (some of which had almost certainly spent a night down the bingo hall) – for my sister, my dad’s new wife (!) and stylish cousin lucy
– A very thin blouse that seemed to be missing it’s right breast – for Aunty Christine
– A rather large conical glass vase containing different coloured seeds with a note on the front saying ‘DO NOT EAT’ – for Brother-in-law Joel. (What was it for??? Who cares…)
– A used copy of ‘50 shades of Grey’ – for mum?
– An old CD of Phil Collins’ greatest hits – dad?? He didn’t know who Phil was…
– A cheap DVD of the film ‘Dumb and Dumber’ – for 6 yr old Casper who had never seen a ‘12’ rated movie. Always a first time…
– A wooden bus that had lost all its passengers – for baby Max
– A wine-bottle-opening puzzle – for little nephew Jesse.
– A weirdly large ‘fashion’ belt – for my mum’s dutch husband??
– A tube of ‘lust’ body lotion, thankfully unused – but who for? I’d throw it in the mix.
I then spent the entire night making my own cheap dog-bone wrapping paper with an old potatoe and some paint. More money saved.
Kindness starts at home
You might say my family is more charitable than me…
After all, they accepted these dubious gifts with graciousness and humour.
My mum wasn’t pleased that the first fifty pages of her lusty book were so well-thumbed but she nevertheless enjoyed seeing my sister’s face express both disgust and hilarity when she saw the new (or old) aubergine-coloured handbag. (Rather awkwardly my sister ended up with the tube of lust as well – which was a real mistake – but she was gracious)
People thanked me for the thought but still showed a remarkable willingness to leave the presents behind.
In particular my sister Nicola suggest that I could help animals even more by giving the hand-bag BACK to the shop and Joel tried to quietly leave his seed-ornamentation behind on the table.
Poor little Caspar, his son, was told he could watch ‘Dumb and dumber’ only if he waited six years which seemed a very long time to him so he decided he wanted to take the weird seed-thing home because Edmund at school ‘had one exactly like it’ – which was hard to believe.
I tried to persuade my sister and her husband to take the Lust lotion along with the Phil Collins CD as a romantic double-package they have been together too long for that.
A few days later I received a kind letter from my aunty Christine to whom I had given the dodgy blouse via her daughter. She said she had worn the garment to a party and she was deeply grateful.
There you go. Charity does make the world a better place.